professional in office e-mail writer?

I think I should hire myself out for writing in office e-mails... a friend of mine showed me an e-mail that was sent to the staff in her office and not only was it grammatically incorrect but it was BORING! I told her so as I was slightly shocked and laughing at the absurdity of it all. so then she asked me how I would write the same message to send to the staff. after a moment of contemplation, while dealing with a schizophrenic photocopy machine, this was the result:

"Attention all staff members. Please be on the look out for a rampant tape dispenser napper that has managed to get away with all three (3?!) of the tape dispensers in the mail room. It is believed that the tape dispenser napper deposited them at a location somewhere on the premesis. The tape dispensers get easily frightened when they are lonely and also have a tendency to want to tape things (including people!) when they have not been used often enough. It's to benefit everyone's personal safety that they are returned to the mail room as soon as possible. Remember, without them we can not function and without us things are in danger of randomly being taped. They NEED to be returned to us before anything goes wrong! But use caution when approaching them as we don't know how frightened they are at the time being. Thanks for all your help!"

I also realized that I had way too much fun writing that message. so, if you're ever in dire need of a "fun" in office e-mail, please feel free to contact me. I love when I get to send e-mails to the office staff here as I get people giggling throughout the day. a little bit of sunshine in the office is always fun.

there is one other way you can earn the love (and corresponding hatred) of your office workers. get a song stuck in their head. at the top of my list of songs to get stuck in there head are Jesus is a Friend of Mine and this song about fast food. they're at the top of the list because they're songs I can't get out of my head once I've listened to them. I've discovered that the only way to get the songs OUT of your head is to get it IN other people's heads. I attempted that in the office the other day with Jesus is a Friend of Mine. it was quite a success. it made me giggle.

well, it's actually my lunch break (and has been for 15 min's.) and I'm debating whether I'm going to leave the office or not... so I'm going to head out. just remember to hire me when you're in need of a fun in office e-mail message. all I need are the details of the info needing to be sent out and I can make it quite fun. to see the results of an e-mail I actually did send out to my office, look through my old blog posts to find the one about the white mail bins. I got more responses to that e-mail than I ever do to the typical in office e-mail. :-D